End Goals

Hi friends.

Good morning, can I recommend a strong cup of coffee? And then maybe a little bend at the waist. And then roll your neck one way and the other, followed by couple of deep breaths. And then stop reading this for a second and look straight ahead and take one more deep breath.

Honey, I know.

I was trying to think of something to say that would make you feel better, even just a little bit, but my head just keeps going back to the work again.

That’s what I did yesterday morning. Went back to the work. I got up, flicked on a screen for the second, read the news for the first time since the night before, then closed the window. Then I thought about people who were getting up all over the world to go to their jobs, and that I had to do the same as everyone else.

So I called up an essay I had been working on forever and ever—one that I’ve been promising myself I’d finish this past month or so—and I started working on it again. It’s about getting older and a bunch of life changes that hit me at once a year and a half ago, and it’s sort of hard to write it because it’s so incredibly bittersweet but it was so much comfort to me right then, to write about anything but right now.

Texts kept coming in and I ignored them and just kept working. Maybe I was disassociating. Maybe I didn’t care.

Then I took out my journal and decided to think about my end goals for my writing. Have you done this lately? It always stabilizes me for a moment. Here’s what I wrote in my journal: