Fall Vibes

Hi friends.

Happy September from a city where it won’t feel like fall until November, and maybe not even December if we’re being real here. I grew up in the Midwest where a season was a season, and it remains cellular for me, wanting that change, even when the weather is just sitting still for a good long while like it does here. But my brain shifts forward. It shifts into a new place. No matter what.

Then the other day, thinking about nothing in particular, just messing around in my notebook, I engaged in a little thought exercise about fall. Most people think fall has a back-to-school vibe, like: Let’s get our work done with some big energy. But I think it’s a good time to assess where we’ve been and where we’re going, especially with creative projects. What I’ve missed getting done so far this year, and how to release those frustrations and figure out a way to move on to either complete projects or let them go. I put a lot of pressure on myself sometimes. (Please tell me I’m not the only one.)

First I made a list of everything I’ve accomplished this year. I took a quick minute to steep myself in pride for what I was actually able to accomplish. Then I looked at what I wished I had written this year. The gap between the two was interesting to consider. I did not think I could have worked any harder and yet I remember always having this sense I did not do enough. And yet certainly I had, I could see that, sitting with my pen and my notebook that morning.

Tricky brains. Mushy egos. Self-esteem soup.

I also thought about the critiques on my work I’d received so far this year. Were there any blind spots that came up repeatedly. How could I address them? What were they telling me about myself and my work? Maybe they would just be my blind spots forever. Maybe we just live with our blind spots — I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have them! — and then work around them, perhaps asking people in our lives to point them out when it’s time. And providing the same to others. All of us taking turns helping each other out.

Just these past few weeks I sent a draft of the new novel to some friends and said, “Please tell me if you see any holes.” And they did. And it helped.

Finishing up with this exercise, I wrote a few things loosely and without too much thought:

Now is a great time to handwrite so I can take the stress off my arms and hands and lower back.

Get my health and mind and spirits in order.

Read plenty.

Write freely and naturally.

Drink lots of water.

Only spend time with people who care about me.

Take care of my dog.

Stay cool.

Eat well.

Be kind.

Writing is not always about the actual writing part, we know this. And writing is not always about the “it’s all a part of the process” part where you do things like read other writers and sketch and strategize and stare out the window and daydream and go see some art in a gallery or just have your butt in the chair even if nothing gets done. Although those are two really important components!

But there’s also the part where we look out for ourselves and stay happy and healthy. Loosening the reins, if only for a moment. If I’m in this in the long haul then I have to be careful and thoughtful. I want this for me, and I want this for you, and I want this for all my writer friends out there. To think about a gentle approach toward this last season of the year. A nourishing assessment rather than a panic about what we haven’t done yet. Because we will get there eventually. The words will show up for us if we show up for ourselves first.

Jami

You are reading Craft Talk, the home of #1000wordsofsummer and also a weekly newsletter about writing from Jami Attenberg. I’m also on twitter and instagram.