Finding Space for Yourself

Hi friends.

I remember early in the pandemic I went in for an exam and the doctor and I were talking about how to keep in shape without going to the gym and she suggested I get a Peleton and put it in my garage and I was like “LOL like I have a garage” and then I said, “I have a really small house, I don’t have room for it,” and she said, “You don’t have any room?”

And I thought:  Oh, I have the tiny front room but I need that room to be as empty as possible so I can have one room that just feels light and clean and empty so my brain can have that space, because I need to have at least one place in my house that is not about work or looking at a computer or even books, and actually I could totally use that space for storage or big bookshelves or something but I’m even choosing not to do that, so I sure as shit am not putting a Peleton in there. Because that room is basically my brain and my brain does not have space for a Peleton.

And yes I sound like a precious little princess and also kind of wacky but those were strange days and we were all stuck at home looking at these four walls closing in on us and our homes suddenly meant something different to us than they had before (and maybe they will mean something different forever but I couldn’t have known that then), and every day we were just there unless we were a frontline worker and I am even sure the frontline workers had their own new relationships with home, but I didn’t think to ask this doctor about that then because I was still thinking about how she had a garage. (She deserved that garage! Give them all garages!)

Of course I just said to her, “No, I don’t have room.” Because I’m not totally insane.

Anyway that’s why I don’t have a Peleton. (Also because I didn’t want a fucking Peleton. It was fine. I went for walks instead and I gained ten pounds that I will never lose again like everyone else, except for the people who got Peletons.)

But anyway this morning I was thinking about what we do with the space we have and how we prioritize it for ourselves and the people in our lives, but also are we prioritizing it for our creativity? Is there a way to carve out a little corner somewhere just for ourselves? Do you need empty walls, do you need busy walls, do you need quiet, do you need noise?

I met a man at one of my events recently who told me that he actually likes to write at night, and he needs a little noise, and he had found an all-night gas station that had charging stations and tables to sit at and he liked to write there and I was so impressed that he could articulate his needs and he was finding creative solutions.

So maybe this is part of the spring thinking today. What do you need from your space to make your creative self sing? Maybe the space is not in your home. Maybe it’s out in the world. Maybe it’s simply a park bench where you can sit and stare out into space. (OK, maybe it’s on your Peleton, I don’t know!) Wherever it is, I hope you can find space for yourself today.

Jami

P.S. This week’s donation went to We Need Diverse Books.

You are reading Craft Talk, the home of #1000wordsofsummer and also a weekly newsletter about writing from Jami Attenberg. I’m also on twitter and instagram.