How to Create an At-Home Residency

An interview with Kristen Arnett & Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Hi friends.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my friends, the writers/spouses Kristen Arnett (Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One, Mostly Dead Things) and Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya (Helen House), had posted this on their instagram stories:

And then a few weeks later, this one appeared:

And of course I was like, “Well, I gotta know more.” They’ve since had one more of these self-curated at-home writing retreats, with two more on the calendar. I caught up with them via text after their third retreat.

JA:

Set this up for me, what was the original inspiration for curating your own at-home writing retreat?

Kayla:

Kristen had the idea that we should have a writing day because we had a rare open day on a weekend coming up. I agreed immediately and we talked about sort of blocking it out in different sessions, some where we would be together in the house (to read or chat) and some where we were isolated in our respective writing spaces in the house.

I didn’t tell her ahead of time that I was making an agenda that would make it seem like a real writing retreat. I surprised her with it by taping it to the mirror the morning of our writing day so she would see when she woke up.

Kristen:

It was fun to wake up to the flier! The print out made it feel more like a “real” retreat.

Kayla:

And we stuck to the schedule seamlessly, too.

Kristen:

Yeah I was more inclined to stick with it rather than following my own whatever kind of agenda since I knew she was doing it too.

JA:

Kayla, you work a full-time job as an editor and Kristen you are a full-time writer but also you teach a year-round workshop and do freelance work. So was there a sense at least somewhat of needing to carve this time out specifically? What did this writing time mean to you over other writing time you might claim for yourselves on any given day?

Kristen:

This was very good for me, in terms of writing, because recently I’ve had a hard time sitting down and working on this novel because I feel sad about the world and stressed out (like all of us do) and also because I will find any excuse possible in the house to avoid writing - including housework - like chores, cleaning bathrooms and laundry and scrubbing the kitchen. This dedicated time, even though it was at home, made it so I could not get up and do those things! I had to work! I also allowed myself the luxury of only reading the shit I was interested in reading, nothing for arcs or blurbs.

Kayla:

I can write here and there around my job, but I can REALLY write when I have a whole open day in front of me that I’ve scheduled out into blocks of time. It’s how I worked in college and how I still work my best now. I do really well at a real residency for this reason. But also Kristen and I proved to ourselves a while ago that these sorts of self-led fake residencies where we’re together but working separately really work for us. For a while, that’s what we did for our anniversary: booked a cabin for a week to write. I wrote my novelette at one of those. I was wondering if it could work at home, and it did but I think I had to do a few extra steps to make it feel more special than a regular day in our home which is also our offices.

JA:

Were there any challenges that arose or tweaks you made from one weekend to the next?

Also I am sorry you are sad about the world Kristen, I am too.

Kristen:

I’ve been trying to add physical activity back into my daily schedule so I asked Kayla if we could add a gym component into the schedule for one of the days so I could keep up with my running! It made me tired but I need to remember that I am not only a brain but also a body, and the body can’t just live on beer (though I wish it could). I also allowed myself to read during some of the writing time because it was really making me feel good, and feeling good super fueled when I actually sat in the document and typed stuff.

Kayla:

Yeah the only adjustments I made for following days were to add fitness and tailor things specific to the days, like on the third day we borrowed our friend’s house while she was out of town just to shake up the scenery.

JA:

I have been reading so much lately, Kristen. It’s been GREAT for my brain.

Kristen:

It’s so good for us!!! I also am trying to be slower and more purposeful with this fourth novel and slowing down to read is important for me so I can think longer before putting words on the page.

JA:

I love the idea of borrowing a friend’s house or doing an apartment swap or something with another writer. Even for a day.

Kayla:

We’re lucky to have local friends who would let us write in their house even if they WERE home and would just leave us alone lol. A writer’s dream!

JA:

I feel like there’s a lot of us who might have that though! If we think to ask.

Kayla:

Yeah all you have to do is ask.

JA:

#community

JA:

Tell me what the end goal is for both of you. You’re both writing novels, right? And if you’re trying for a specific word count or is it more just seeking a free and easy feeling with your brain?

Kristen:

For me it’s been waaay less about word count (though that’s my normal marker) because this particular book wants a lot of patience! I have been working on the opening section for probably close to six months now and I finally got it how I want it during this home writing retreat - and it’s only 5500 words long??? Which to my usual writing brain seems crazy, but for this project that’s just what it is! I just wanted to feel connected to the project which definitely happened, so I feel very good about that.

Kayla:

I’m working on my first full length novel yes. I’m not really a word count person, at least not all the time. I’m a very goal-oriented person but I think I have a pretty fluid approach to goal setting. The goal changes every day!

On day one, the goal was to comb through what I consider my first section (first 19k words of my draft) and edit it but also add a bit to it. I reached that goal and actually had Kristen read it which I had not thought I was going to do! Day two, the goal was more time-oriented. I wanted to spend the full six hours (in two 3-hour chunks) we’d blocked off for that day writing in the draft, no reading or doing anything else like research or spending 20 minutes making a sandwich. Just writing. And on day three, I did end up setting a word goal. The writing felt harder that day so I just wanted to get to 1,000 words, which I did.

JA:

Guys I am very proud of you!! This is very cool and fun and I hope you do it for as long as you need to and it feels fruitful.

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Is there anyone you’d like to do a one-day at home retreat with? Is there a friend you can apartment swap with for a day so you both can get some work done? Would the simple act of typing up and printing out what your schedule is for a writing day somehow make a difference in what you accomplish? Is this something you could do for fun during the quiet times this winter? I’m leaving the comments open today for anyone to share their own successes with designing their own writing retreats.

See y’all later this week with a weekend prompt. And hang tight everyone. It’s almost 2026.

Jami

You are reading Craft Talk, the home of #1000wordsofsummer and also a weekly newsletter about writing from Jami Attenberg. I’m also on bluesky and instagram.