How to Create an At-Home Residency

An interview with Kristen Arnett & Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Hi friends.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my friends, the writers/spouses Kristen Arnett (Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One, Mostly Dead Things) and Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya (Helen House), had posted this on their instagram stories:

And then a few weeks later, this one appeared:

And of course I was like, “Well, I gotta know more.” They’ve since had one more of these self-curated at-home writing retreats, with two more on the calendar. I caught up with them via text after their third retreat.

JA:

Set this up for me, what was the original inspiration for curating your own at-home writing retreat?

Kayla:

Kristen had the idea that we should have a writing day because we had a rare open day on a weekend coming up. I agreed immediately and we talked about sort of blocking it out in different sessions, some where we would be together in the house (to read or chat) and some where we were isolated in our respective writing spaces in the house.

I didn’t tell her ahead of time that I was making an agenda that would make it seem like a real writing retreat. I surprised her with it by taping it to the mirror the morning of our writing day so she would see when she woke up.

Kristen:

It was fun to wake up to the flier! The print out made it feel more like a “real” retreat.

Kayla:

And we stuck to the schedule seamlessly, too.

Kristen:

Yeah I was more inclined to stick with it rather than following my own whatever kind of agenda since I knew she was doing it too.

JA:

Kayla, you work a full-time job as an editor and Kristen you are a full-time writer but also you teach a year-round workshop and do freelance work. So was there a sense at least somewhat of needing to carve this time out specifically? What did this writing time mean to you over other writing time you might claim for yourselves on any given day?

Kristen:

This was very good for me, in terms of writing, because recently I’ve had a hard time sitting down and working on this novel because I feel sad about the world and stressed out (like all of us do) and also because I will find any excuse possible in the house to avoid writing - including housework - like chores, cleaning bathrooms and laundry and scrubbing the kitchen. This dedicated time, even though it was at home, made it so I could not get up and do those things! I had to work! I also allowed myself the luxury of only reading the shit I was interested in reading, nothing for arcs or blurbs.

Kayla:

I can write here and there around my job, but I can REALLY write when I have a whole open day in front of me that I’ve scheduled out into blocks of time. It’s how I worked in college and how I still work my best now. I do really well at a real residency for this reason. But also Kristen and I proved to ourselves a while ago that these sorts of self-led fake residencies where we’re together but working separately really work for us. For a while, that’s what we did for our anniversary: booked a cabin for a week to write. I wrote my novelette at one of those. I was wondering if it could work at home, and it did but I think I had to do a few extra steps to make it feel more special than a regular day in our home which is also our offices.

JA:

Were there any challenges that arose or tweaks you made from one weekend to the next?

Also I am sorry you are sad about the world Kristen, I am too.

Kristen:

I’ve been trying to add physical activity back into my daily schedule so I asked Kayla if we could add a gym component into the schedule for one of the days so I could keep up with my running! It made me tired but I need to remember that I am not only a brain but also a body, and the body can’t just live on beer (though I wish it could). I also allowed myself to read during some of the writing time because it was really making me feel good, and feeling good super fueled when I actually sat in the document and typed stuff.

Kayla:

Yeah the only adjustments I made for following days were to add fitness and tailor things specific to the days, like on the third day we borrowed our friend’s house while she was out of town just to shake up the scenery.

JA:

I have been reading so much lately, Kristen. It’s been GREAT for my brain.

Kristen:

It’s so good for us!!! I also am trying to be slower and more purposeful with this fourth novel and slowing down to read is important for me so I can think longer before putting words on the page.

JA:

I love the idea of borrowing a friend’s house or doing an apartment swap or something with another writer. Even for a day.

Kayla:

We’re lucky to have local friends who would let us write in their house even if they WERE home and would just leave us alone lol. A writer’s dream!

JA:

I feel like there’s a lot of us who might have that though! If we think to ask.

Kayla:

Yeah all you have to do is ask.

JA:

#community