Some Questions about Online Boundaries

Featuring thoughts on OnlyFans, the value of secrets, wisdom from Sam Irby, and more

Hi friends.

Good morning from New Orleans where it’s raining and it’s dark out and I’m drinking coffee and avoiding the news. I am an average amount of moody today which I will take as a good sign. I’m always wearing my little mood one way or another—I was born with it on. Like a tight t-shirt that fits just right. A snug layer. Sometimes I wear it underneath something else, so you can’t see it. But it’s always present on my body.

How’s your mood today?

I’m still making my way through the notes I took from all the workshops I taught this year, and today seems like a good day to talk about the question of online boundaries. How to establish them, how to maintain them. Everybody’s in their feelings right now and maybe wants to stay there for a while longer, so if this doesn’t feel like it’s going to be helpful to you, maybe do a little delete or archive right now. I can only hope that when I send out these letters they are reaching you at the right time, but after publishing my work for so long, I know I’m not able to control that.

But anyway hello, let’s talk about some boundaries.

When I first started writing online, I used to overshare because I didn’t think anyone was paying attention. You may feel like that now. No one’s reading this thing, why not just say whatever the hell I want?