What if I Had Never Fallen in Love With the City of New Orleans?

A sliding doors prompt.

Hi friends.

I missed Twelfth Night while I was gone to Key West. The beginning of the Carnival season. I felt it a little in my bones, even from far away. Here we go again, another year of something special.

Nearly at nine years living in New Orleans now. No one would ever mistake me for being from here, but I don’t know if you would necessarily confuse me for a speedy New Yorker anymore either. Maybe I just am. Maybe I just exist.

I was wondering this morning in my notebook what my life would look like if I had stayed in New York and never left.

What if I had never decided to make a big change in my life? What if I had concluded I was too tired to take risks, too weary to start over again? But also what if I chose to build on what I already had available in my life? What if I had kept some things instead of throwing them away? What kind of person would I have become instead?

Would I still be in the same apartment? Would I still be in the same neighborhood even? What would my commute to Manhattan look like from Brooklyn? (I would still be in Brooklyn, surely.)

Would I be in different physical shape? Would I have different taste in clothes? Would I be single or partnered up?

Would I have the exact same friend group? Would I have met some new people? I know I couldn’t have the same social life now as I did then, running around town like I did.

Would I be in a different mental state having lived through the pandemic in a bigger urban environment versus here?

Would I feel different pressures as a middle-aged woman about my appearance? I think often about what it means to get older here as opposed to a bigger coastal city, where it seems like there are more pressures but also more resources.

Would I have different hobbies and interests? Would I have read different books? Would I have a different creative gaze?

There are books I would never have written, couldn’t have written if I still lived in New York. What books would I have written to replace them?

Would I be writing all of you? Or would all this just live quietly in my journal?

Would I still walk across the bridge at sunset, loving the lights of the city and feeling alive?

Would I be happy there? Would I be as happy as I am here?

I could keep going forever. A sliding door question, I guess, but instead of falling in (or out of) love with someone, what if I had never fallen in love with the city of New Orleans?

I enjoyed it as a writing prompt, so I’m sharing it with you. What was the last big change or move you made in your life? And what would your life look like if you hadn’t made it?

Have a good weekend.

Stay steady,

Jami