It's all very interesting to think of the writer's brand of desperation. Spend 5 minutes scrolling through Substack notes and you will see it alive and well. On another note: is 7 am too early to have a "slow beer?" If I shut all the windows and pull down the blinds, I could trick myself in thinking it's the evening...
"My deeply adolescent drive to rebel against deadlines and assignments is so strong that it extends even to the ones I give myself. I am the target of my own oppositional defiant disorder."
This punched me right in the chest. Can't help but deeply, deeply relate. Whenever someone has helpfully suggested I give myself a deadline, I've laughed in that semi-hysterical way associated with people at the end of their rope, because, Nope. Doesn't work.
I second the journaling idea, however. Sometimes--not always, but often enough--getting the ball rolling (the ball being my brain) is key. Morning pages, journals, jotting down ideas instead of polished prose, telling myself I just need to write for five minutes.... Once I start, I can accidentally catch momentum.
On the days I haven’t been able to write, or write enough to make it to the mark, I’ve allowed myself to open another document and write whatever I want or need to write. Just utter gibberish. But one night this week, my desperate journaling must have stirred something in my unconscious mind while I slept because I woke up and wrote a scene based on the themes from the night before. Proving, once again, that nothing is ever wasted.
It's all very interesting to think of the writer's brand of desperation. Spend 5 minutes scrolling through Substack notes and you will see it alive and well. On another note: is 7 am too early to have a "slow beer?" If I shut all the windows and pull down the blinds, I could trick myself in thinking it's the evening...
Day 8 — an extended journal entry about writing (or not writing)
Word Count: 1682
"My deeply adolescent drive to rebel against deadlines and assignments is so strong that it extends even to the ones I give myself. I am the target of my own oppositional defiant disorder."
This punched me right in the chest. Can't help but deeply, deeply relate. Whenever someone has helpfully suggested I give myself a deadline, I've laughed in that semi-hysterical way associated with people at the end of their rope, because, Nope. Doesn't work.
I second the journaling idea, however. Sometimes--not always, but often enough--getting the ball rolling (the ball being my brain) is key. Morning pages, journals, jotting down ideas instead of polished prose, telling myself I just need to write for five minutes.... Once I start, I can accidentally catch momentum.
I woke up not really liking my book today, but then I ate two donuts while watching you and Chee, and I wrote my 1000 words. Onwards.
"tallying all my wasted lives" is everything.
I do love a challenge! And today I will write my best writing. So grateful for guidance and support. Write away folks!
On the days I haven’t been able to write, or write enough to make it to the mark, I’ve allowed myself to open another document and write whatever I want or need to write. Just utter gibberish. But one night this week, my desperate journaling must have stirred something in my unconscious mind while I slept because I woke up and wrote a scene based on the themes from the night before. Proving, once again, that nothing is ever wasted.
1,057