Luckily, I'm still alive and kicking. Thank you for this. Writing was the thing that helped me recover -- a reason to wake up, get out of the house, and track a bear into the woods!
Caroline Knapp's classics: _Drinking: A Love Story_ and _Pack of Two_ remain two of the best memoirs I've ever read. The first is a prescription for anyone who's ever wondered about a loved one's addiction: what it feels like, why do what they do. (And for that person writing about their addiction, as Knapp did.) The second is for anyone who's ever been saved by a dog. <3. Both are ANCIENT! 90's (I think?) but pure gold.
Drinking: A Love Story is one of my favorites, too. The way she wrote about her relationship with drinking was the realest, most relatable, most beautiful way I've ever seen it written. I felt every sentence.
I loved the Lucy Grealy memoir, Autobiography of a Face, and after I finished it, I immediately read Ann Patchett's memoir of Lucy Grealy, Truth and Beauty. It picked up where Lucy's left off, so when I was finished, I felt like I had a very thorough understanding of Lucy's life.
Well, this might sound goofy, but I wrote a memoir in 2018 called Walk it Off about learning how to walk again after a tumor was found on my spine, and it was so interesting to hear my friends' comments after they'd read it, in particular the ones who were with me all through that tricky time. They kept saying: I had *no idea! which made me realize only in retrospect how zipped up (locked down?) I'd been about the experience - to keep control I guess? Oh who the hell knows. My husband read it about 11 times, and my kids have each read it, at last count, zero times. Ah, kids... Also, I love your writing, Jami.
As a former fiction writer, I've been surprised to hear from friends and strangers alike how my memoir prompted them to worry about me and give me a hug (lol), even though the book mostly takes place in childhood and covers subject matter that I've long since dealt with (otherwise I don't think I would have been able to write it). The idea of reception when it comes to true stories crafted as art is certainly fascinating! For me, a recent memoir that affected me in the way you describe is CHANGE by Edouard Louis, about remaking oneself after suffering the isolation of the closet and demanding that life be radically different at whatever cost. Very self-critical and moving. And of course, being French, it's marketed as a novel, but everyone mostly knows better...
I feel that way about Rebel Girl by Kathleen Hanna. It’s so incredibly hard and vulnerable that I can’t read it for longer than a section (not even a chapter)at a time and I don’t even know her personally.
Memoir is my favorite (it's what led me to your writing, actually--a panel on memoir at the Texas Book Festival a couple years back). Recently for me it was "Did I Ever Tell You?" by Genevieve Kingston that just had me sobbing onto the pages. Also, "Splinters" by Leslie Jamison.
Ooh, thanks for this! I just downloaded Claire's book from Libro.fm. I've read two great memoirs so far this year - one new, one backlist. Jenny Slate's new memoir LIFEFORM is really good. More vulnerable and tender than you'd expect. I also read Demi Moore's memoir from a few years ago. It's sad, but a great read (esp on audio).
I just finished your memoir! I Came All This Way To Meet You, and loved getting an honest look at the life of a writer and your realization, at one point, that in order to be a good writer you have to be a good salesperson, too. This line had me dying: "Once I did an event where a man standing in my signing line said to me, 'You remind me of my daughter; she's also a narcissist.'"
I'm pretty much only reading memoir these days, studying them so I can write my own. My favorites include:
Here After by Amy Lin
The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
Thank you for the rec! I'll be adding How To Survive A Bear Attack to my list.
I just encountered Katherine May’s memoir The Electricity of Every Living Thing. She braids together her efforts to walk the entire 630 miles of the South West Coast Path in Britain (not all in one go!) with her adult diagnosis as autistic. Gorgeous writing, and an amazing window into her mind.
I felt this way while reading my good friend Nina's memoir over the summer -- Love Is A Burning Thing by Nina St. Pierre. I knew a lot of the story, but I could only read it in short bursts, too. It was brilliant, but I was worried! My friend! It was an honor to read it, but still. We love our friends! Can't wait to read Claire's book.
Paid for by Rachel Moran, the story of Ms. Moran’s seven years as a prostitute (from ages 14 to 21) and how she found a way to reclaim her body, her dignity and her life. A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown describes Ms. Brown’s remarkable journey from poverty, foster care, homelessness and addiction to a life worth living. And in my own (recently completed, as yet unpublished) memoir (Indelible: A Memoir by Deanne Ames) I recall my siblings and I growing up with a step-father who was a respected member of our community (a physician) but also a sexually abusive, narcissistic bully. (Don’t worry, the story has a happy ending…I became a social worker then a psychotherapist helping people recover from childhood trauma…) There are many more memoirs that have moved me deeply, and I’ll post them as they come to mind.
I don't have any insightful suggestions for other memoirs, but your writing today has once again lodged deeply inside of me at just the right time. How does this always happen? Your very present and vulnerable story telling truly grabs a hold of me! 😳♥️ I'm incredibly grateful. And as I am continuing to work hard on my poetry book, I'm now seeing that it is wanting to be memoir in poems. It's fun when a project takes an unexpected turn, yet it somehow makes it hard too or at least more anxiety producing. And I'm not going to lie, it's been tough dredging back through a really hard season of my life as I wrestle with these poems that until very recently have only ever been journal drafts, written back in 2017. What you've helped me see today (thank you!), is just how emotionally difficult it is to walk through a loved ones difficult journey in an intimate, open and vulnerable book type setting. And maybe it's strange to say, that in my case today the loved one is myself, my earlier self who was terrified as she faced the truth of all that mind-body healing was showing her. But this is exactly what's been happening, why I'm dealing with so much more anxiety than I'd expect to normally be dealing with. I'm diving deeper into my previous struggle with chronic illness (which I've miraculously recovered from) than I ever have before. It's taken me 8 years to finally be ready, and now I can see because of what you've shared here, is that I just need to let myself take this more slowly. I need to be more tender and kind and gentle with this material, because it's charged with emotion and trauma and all the scary questions I held for decades. Gosh this comment has gotten so long, but I had to stop and verbalize this and to say thank you too! ♥️🙏
Luckily, I'm still alive and kicking. Thank you for this. Writing was the thing that helped me recover -- a reason to wake up, get out of the house, and track a bear into the woods!
Caroline Knapp's classics: _Drinking: A Love Story_ and _Pack of Two_ remain two of the best memoirs I've ever read. The first is a prescription for anyone who's ever wondered about a loved one's addiction: what it feels like, why do what they do. (And for that person writing about their addiction, as Knapp did.) The second is for anyone who's ever been saved by a dog. <3. Both are ANCIENT! 90's (I think?) but pure gold.
“Drinking” was what steered me into sobriety. Unforgettable. Also, fun fact: my dog literally ate the book when I was recently rereading it.
Ah, that’s amazing, Amie. Unforgettable is the right word for that book! And, OMG— your dog! Hysterical.
Drinking: A Love Story is one of my favorites, too. The way she wrote about her relationship with drinking was the realest, most relatable, most beautiful way I've ever seen it written. I felt every sentence.
Every sentence. Yes, Charlie, me too.
I loved the Lucy Grealy memoir, Autobiography of a Face, and after I finished it, I immediately read Ann Patchett's memoir of Lucy Grealy, Truth and Beauty. It picked up where Lucy's left off, so when I was finished, I felt like I had a very thorough understanding of Lucy's life.
Yesssss! I was coming here to say Truth and Beauty... one of the most beautiful books about friendship I've ever read.
Truth and Beauty is on my shelf to read at some point! These comments may have just pushed it to the top of the pile.
Well, this might sound goofy, but I wrote a memoir in 2018 called Walk it Off about learning how to walk again after a tumor was found on my spine, and it was so interesting to hear my friends' comments after they'd read it, in particular the ones who were with me all through that tricky time. They kept saying: I had *no idea! which made me realize only in retrospect how zipped up (locked down?) I'd been about the experience - to keep control I guess? Oh who the hell knows. My husband read it about 11 times, and my kids have each read it, at last count, zero times. Ah, kids... Also, I love your writing, Jami.
As a former fiction writer, I've been surprised to hear from friends and strangers alike how my memoir prompted them to worry about me and give me a hug (lol), even though the book mostly takes place in childhood and covers subject matter that I've long since dealt with (otherwise I don't think I would have been able to write it). The idea of reception when it comes to true stories crafted as art is certainly fascinating! For me, a recent memoir that affected me in the way you describe is CHANGE by Edouard Louis, about remaking oneself after suffering the isolation of the closet and demanding that life be radically different at whatever cost. Very self-critical and moving. And of course, being French, it's marketed as a novel, but everyone mostly knows better...
How to Keep House While Drowning changed my life. The title is a little misleading. It’s really about shame.
I feel that way about Rebel Girl by Kathleen Hanna. It’s so incredibly hard and vulnerable that I can’t read it for longer than a section (not even a chapter)at a time and I don’t even know her personally.
Ohh I haven't read it yet, but I have it sitting here. I will for sure dig in!
I don’t have any “real life” friends that are writers but Dying by Cory Taylor moved me deeply.
Memoir is my favorite (it's what led me to your writing, actually--a panel on memoir at the Texas Book Festival a couple years back). Recently for me it was "Did I Ever Tell You?" by Genevieve Kingston that just had me sobbing onto the pages. Also, "Splinters" by Leslie Jamison.
Ooh, thanks for this! I just downloaded Claire's book from Libro.fm. I've read two great memoirs so far this year - one new, one backlist. Jenny Slate's new memoir LIFEFORM is really good. More vulnerable and tender than you'd expect. I also read Demi Moore's memoir from a few years ago. It's sad, but a great read (esp on audio).
Love Jenny Slate! Thanks for the rec.
I just finished your memoir! I Came All This Way To Meet You, and loved getting an honest look at the life of a writer and your realization, at one point, that in order to be a good writer you have to be a good salesperson, too. This line had me dying: "Once I did an event where a man standing in my signing line said to me, 'You remind me of my daughter; she's also a narcissist.'"
I'm pretty much only reading memoir these days, studying them so I can write my own. My favorites include:
Here After by Amy Lin
The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
Thank you for the rec! I'll be adding How To Survive A Bear Attack to my list.
Really not fan-girling here, but your memoir, I Came All This Way to Meet You, was a captivating read and mighty fine writing.
Thanks Amie!!
I just encountered Katherine May’s memoir The Electricity of Every Living Thing. She braids together her efforts to walk the entire 630 miles of the South West Coast Path in Britain (not all in one go!) with her adult diagnosis as autistic. Gorgeous writing, and an amazing window into her mind.
I felt this way while reading my good friend Nina's memoir over the summer -- Love Is A Burning Thing by Nina St. Pierre. I knew a lot of the story, but I could only read it in short bursts, too. It was brilliant, but I was worried! My friend! It was an honor to read it, but still. We love our friends! Can't wait to read Claire's book.
Paid for by Rachel Moran, the story of Ms. Moran’s seven years as a prostitute (from ages 14 to 21) and how she found a way to reclaim her body, her dignity and her life. A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown describes Ms. Brown’s remarkable journey from poverty, foster care, homelessness and addiction to a life worth living. And in my own (recently completed, as yet unpublished) memoir (Indelible: A Memoir by Deanne Ames) I recall my siblings and I growing up with a step-father who was a respected member of our community (a physician) but also a sexually abusive, narcissistic bully. (Don’t worry, the story has a happy ending…I became a social worker then a psychotherapist helping people recover from childhood trauma…) There are many more memoirs that have moved me deeply, and I’ll post them as they come to mind.
I don't have any insightful suggestions for other memoirs, but your writing today has once again lodged deeply inside of me at just the right time. How does this always happen? Your very present and vulnerable story telling truly grabs a hold of me! 😳♥️ I'm incredibly grateful. And as I am continuing to work hard on my poetry book, I'm now seeing that it is wanting to be memoir in poems. It's fun when a project takes an unexpected turn, yet it somehow makes it hard too or at least more anxiety producing. And I'm not going to lie, it's been tough dredging back through a really hard season of my life as I wrestle with these poems that until very recently have only ever been journal drafts, written back in 2017. What you've helped me see today (thank you!), is just how emotionally difficult it is to walk through a loved ones difficult journey in an intimate, open and vulnerable book type setting. And maybe it's strange to say, that in my case today the loved one is myself, my earlier self who was terrified as she faced the truth of all that mind-body healing was showing her. But this is exactly what's been happening, why I'm dealing with so much more anxiety than I'd expect to normally be dealing with. I'm diving deeper into my previous struggle with chronic illness (which I've miraculously recovered from) than I ever have before. It's taken me 8 years to finally be ready, and now I can see because of what you've shared here, is that I just need to let myself take this more slowly. I need to be more tender and kind and gentle with this material, because it's charged with emotion and trauma and all the scary questions I held for decades. Gosh this comment has gotten so long, but I had to stop and verbalize this and to say thank you too! ♥️🙏
♥️♥️♥️